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I use these for acid indigestion!

January 19, 2010

“What are we going to use them for?”

“INTIMIDATION.”

Yeah, that doesn’t really have a lot to do with this post, but in my head it seemed like an appropriate corollary.

From Juice is an article in the NYT about more men marrying wealthier women, in particular the last paragraph of which reads:

Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: “‘You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?’ He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing.”

This was sort of new to me, not because I think it isn’t true but because I had never really considered it before. Juice insists that most of her friends that act the most dependent on boys are the most likely to score them. Is it true, though? Not to be too Carrie Bradshaw here, but are self-sufficient women too intimidating for their own good?

What does a powerful, successful, career-minded woman do wrong when she is meeting men in bars? In discussing with friends, it can be hard to give off a good first impression sometimes. Mindless idle get-to-know-you chit chat can turn into “What do you do?” and “How do you like your job?” instead of “What do you do for fun?” and “Which do you like better, football or baseball?”

It’s not that we girls are in power suits and carrying briefcases, but sometimes we can be too opinionated. Is that a turn off? I hope not, because frankly a lot of us have actual thoughts in our heads and aren’t afraid to debate them. As the article notes, more educated women are more likely to get married than those who are not. As Juice and her friend put it: “You know what, it may be hard for us to find guys that are able to handle us, but, at least we can eliminate sooner the ones who can’t.”

Lawyer AP points out that if you’re in a bar and a guy comes up to you and you find out he’s a lawyer, ladies will swoon—however, if a girl says that to a guy in the bar, it’s a turn off; mainly because it implies she is aggressive and argumentative. How unfair is that?

I guess my point in all this rambling today is that if I bust your butt because you like the Steelers, because you think you’re a cool frat kid, or because you can’t spell “definitely,” don’t be intimidated—just tease me right back. A lot of the best flirting is 4th grade playground style, anyway, so just don’t get afraid of the girl with the great job, the high credit score, and her crap together. Because if she’s got her crap together, chances are she can take on your crap, too.

Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”

To that I just respond that we aren’t high maintenance, we’re just awesome.

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