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When single girls are awkward

January 29, 2010

Unfortunately, on the basis of an exchange I had last night at dinner, I think I might be that awkward single friend who makes her coupled friends feel uncomfortable with her self-deprecating remarks. I uttered something out of my mouth and then went, “OMG, I just turned into that girl.”

I was at a get-together postwork to bid farewell to my last remaining work friend (after RIFs and a retirement—I had only 4 friends at work to begin with, and within a month all 4 friends are now gone; I’m very woebegone). The group included the leaving coworker (B), a new coworker, and B’s husband and brother-in-law (who is also recently married).

In the beginning of the evening, I had drilled B’s brother-in-law because he had booked the best wedding band ever for his reception, one that frequents the Philadelphia/DC/NJ shore area. I was talking about how I didn’t think I would serve food at my wedding, and would instead send people to Wendy’s with $5 gift cards so that I could afford to book such a slammin’ wedding band.

Laaater in the night, it came up that I was in the market for some single charming gentlemen, and did he know any? B’s BIL was so confused. “Weren’t you just talking about your wedding?” “Yeah…” “I thought for sure since you were implying a budget and were talking about booking bands that you were engaged…”

At this point B’s brother in law cut in that I was just on a 10-year plan, and I would be married eventually within that time period.

And then I did that awkward comment thing, where everyone looks around Family Guy style and picks up their beers and pities me:


What prompted me to say such an inappropriately uncomfortable comment is still beyond me. Did I think this would somehow incite BIL to hook me up with one of his single friends? “Yeah, I met this girl who is 24 and has already booked a wedding band for a hypothetical wedding and also is worried about her dying eggs…. want to buy her dinner?”

It was one of those moments you wish you could take back. Where you want to immediately CYA by saying “Ahhhh wait, I’m actually not that awkward or weird or disparaging or blundering…”

And thus I’m more and more convinced that 2010 Laura’s new motto, instead of Keep It Simple Stupid, will be “Keeping Interesting Strangers Scared.”


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