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How to decline the offers

February 22, 2010

It happens to everyone at some point—you meet someone, go on a date or meet up with them, and you just don’t feel it. Maybe this is as soon as the day after you exchange a phone number or after a first date or even after the third date, but it can happen.

Then what?

I think there are three options in this case, when the boy is following up and you’re wishing he didn’t.

(1) Ignore. [I know this seems rude, but it happens, and lots of girls do this, so it must be acknowledged.]

(2) Fake busy-ness and hope he gets the hint.

(3) Say flat out “Actually, I didn’t have a nice time, and would not like to do that again.” Or some such variation.

I think even the most well-intentioned ladies accidentally pull number ones sometimes. We can all agree that (3) is appropriate, but who really wants to hear that?

Sometimes in order to protect someone’s feelings we end up ignoring, and hope it doesn’t hurt that bad. Is passive rejection better than more aggressive and forthright rejection?

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