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The single disease

March 22, 2010

I’m single. I think that much is pretty clear, if you know me or have ever visited this blog before.

Some days, I’m not 100% happy about it (I’m online dating, for goodness sake), but I’m not unhappy about it, either.

Do I get lonely sometimes? You betcha. Do I wish that I could have a take-out, beer, and Netflix night with my boyfriend this Friday? Totally. Do I want surprise gestures and pillow talk and hand-holding and trip planning? Duh! It’s really fun to be in a relationship. I can only imagine what it feels like to have met your other half; to feel complete and want to share your life with someone. I want that very badly for myself at some point in my life, I really do. I’m genuinely and truly excited for my friends who have found it already and I’m looking forward to the day I giggle and act smitten and get butterflies and let my mind wander to the future—“our future.”

Recent bridal showers and bachelorette goodness and the upcoming wedding season have me feeling little pangs of loneliness and envy. Of course I want a relationship. Of course I want to be engaged and have a beautiful ring and plan a wedding and a future. But I’m just not there yet. Did I think I’d be at 25? Kinda.

It’ll happen. I firmly believe it will. It will happen when it’s meant to, and there is no rush. If I keep focusing on the fact that I don’t have a relationship, I’ll start missing the things that I do have—and I have a lot.

My life is great. I have plans and goals, I have wonderful friends and a perfect family, I have a job I enjoy, business prospects for the future, and hobbies and trips and travels and bacon and my DVR and great books and the iTunes Top 10 list and springtime and my goldens. I have dance parties and flip cup and barbecues with friends. I flirt with boys in bars and get silly crushes. I have happy hours and 3 a.m. games of quarters and $ingle lady stories. Will a relationship complete all that? Yes. But does that mean my life is incomplete right now? No.

Spending your life waiting for something different to happen to you or come along inherently reinforces that you’re not not happy in the moment right now. This is life; today is life. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Just right now.

So yeah, I’m single.

And I’m fine with that.

At least today, I am.

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 25, 2010 9:48 am

    single and happy 🙂 love your post!

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