I would watch soccer if the players were shirtless

Unlike everyone else on the bandwagon, I’m not going to pretend I like soccer just because the world cup is on and USA scraped through.

I’m not going to pretend I enjoy watching tennis just because the longest match ever happened.

But, I won’t deny that I like this sweet face

And Ronaldo’s abs

Um, alllllllll of Bocanegra

And anyone with a name as hot as Landon Donovan

Phew, is it nearly 100 degrees outside or is it me?

Additionally, watch the video in which “Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay,” via our friends at The Onion.