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Sucks to be Osama bin Laden

June 28, 2010

A guest post by AP

I frick’en love America. I love freedom; I love democracy; I love free speech even when—nay, especially when—I disagree; I love capitalism and competition; and I love that my grocery has an entire aisle devoted to chips and popcorn, conveniently located next to refrigerated beer.

Meet my new hero: Mr. Gary Faulkner of Colorado.

The 51-year-old was arrested June 13 while attempting to cross into Afghanistan from the mountainous region of northern Pakistan. He was armed with a pistol, sword, night-vision goggles, a map, and was reportedly carrying Christian literature.

When arrested, Faulkner told police he was intent on avenging the victims of the 9/11 terror attack by killing Osama bin Laden.

Faulkner told ABC News he left the 40-inch sword in Pakistan because he said he might need it again after he rests and receives medical treatment for an ailing kidney. For him, killing bin Laden is a “personal endeavor.”

“Right now, I’m out of wind,” he said. “I need dialysis and some rest. Thank you and for all those who had something negative to say – sucks to be you.”

My love for the rule of law is outweighed by this man’s patriotism, frankness, and courage to do something. Even if you are a little crazy, Mr. Faulkner, thanks for being a complete bad-ass. For those of you that disagree, well, in the words of a great American, “sucks to be you.”

(Read the article about Mr. Faulkner here.)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 28, 2010 3:30 pm

    I love it. I love it. I love it. Thank you.

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