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It’s early.

July 21, 2010

I got to work at 7:11 this morning. That is an early time of consciousness.

We’re packing up and moving out, and I drove into the office this morning to grab some boxes and bring in things to recycle and shred. I’m enjoying one of my last cups of coffee from Au Bon Pain; it’s just me and the Keurig from here on out at home. I’m looking at my big flat screen monitor for the last time until in a few weeks it (I think?) arrives at my doorstep. What is going to happen to me without an office and professional identity? I’m scared. I’m going to miss DC.

I saw Toy Story 3 last night and cried a disproportionate amount of tears for the relative sadness of the ending scene. Why do I feel such an emotional attachment to those animated toys? Is it because I was quite an impressionable child and after I saw the original Toy Story I treated all of my toys with much more respect? I lovingly played with the long-eschewed Barbies that Felicity had replaced, and tried to sneak into my room quickly to catch My Buddy and Kid Sister having some type of pow-wow about me. I invited more to sleep on my pillow with me and used the oldies-but-goodies as students when I played school.

Whatever the reason, I was a mess at the sight of Andy and Bonnie on the screen. A MESS. A sniffling, mushy-gushy mess who wanted nothing more than to go home to her parents’ house and play with her dollhouse and bear. WAHHHHHHH I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP.

Maybe the movie affected me so greatly because I’m realizing just that — I am a grown up. GROSS. When I first saw Toy Story I was 10. TEN! Now I’m 25. Like, almost 30. Moving on. Growing up. Getting mature. Going to bed early, waking up early. Drinking less, reading more. My pong skills are suffering, my tolerance is lower, and my hangovers are fifty-thousand times worse. I like chatting in the evenings with friends and I miss going to the library sometimes. I do things like pay bills and make a living.

The kid in me wants to go play house, school, office, cooking show again. I want to pretend to be a grown-up like I’ve been doing for the past 25 years, not really be one. But I don’t have a choice, and I have to keep on swimming.

Swimming, in fact, to a new city…

[Oh, btw, go see TS3, it was adorable.]

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 21, 2010 10:32 am

    Chuckles didn’t make the poster!

  2. Laura permalink*
    July 22, 2010 6:54 am

    I believe it’s “Ydnay.”

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