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When your parents watch Jersey Shore

August 6, 2010

My parents informed me yesterday that they started DVRing Jersey Shore, because they wanted to see “Why Corzine was so upset about what it was doing to Jersey.”

These quotes are from my parents’ viewing of the first episode of this season. Enjoy.

Dad: Whoa, is that girl like 3 feet tall?
Mom: Look how close she’s sitting to the steering wheel. That is such a hazard.

Dad: HA! Look at that guy’s hair [Pauly D]. What’s wrong with him? Why does he speak like that?

Dad: Can we get subtitles? I don’t understand what she is saying.

Dad: Hol, did you hear that definition of a double bagger? HAHAHAHA.

Mom: Wait, who’s that guy now?
Dad: That’s Ronnie. He used to date Sammie. Pay attention.

Dad: Wait, what is the difference between a grenade and a landmine?
Me: A grenade is a fat ugly cheek, a landmine is a skinny ugly chick.
Mom: Well, in that case, Snooki’s a grenade, right?

Mom: Why does that girl like pickles so much?

Dad: Why are that girl’s pockets hanging out of her shorts? That’s dumb.

Mom, watching Ronnie make out with two girls at once: That boy is going to have a headache tomorrow.

Dad, as it cut to commercial break: UGH! They just cut out right as Ronnie and Sammie were going to see each other again!!!

Mom: What is “So-co?”

Mom: Vinny’s ugly.
Me: He’s the only semi-normal one.
Mom: I hate him.

Dad, at the end: OH man. I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen when Angelina tells Sammie that Ronnie kissed those girls.
Mom: Wait, we’re going to watch this again?
Dad: Hell yeah we are!

My parents are awesome.

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